60 MINUTES OF RELAXING MUSIC WITH RELAXING FISH TANK VIDEO FLUTE

Slice of Life No. 8 -- THE BASICS OF CASH FLOW

"Simple and funny but true..."

The following article was written by Mr. Butch Salvador -- a former pastor who is now making waves with his business ideas. I am an avid reader of his posted articles. I have even added him in my Yahoo Messenger list some time ago as I was then thinking of asking details about Spa Magic.

THE BASICS OF CASH FLOW by Butch Salvador

There are those who e-mailed me asking about the basics of cashflow. I'm really sorry that I assumed everybody already understands it. Anyway, by demand ... here it goes... May isang bata... joke lang.

The basic is. What pattern do you see if you will get a P100.00 bill and monitor where and how it is transferred from 1 possessor to the other? How does it flow? The pattern for a typical Pinoy is. You earn from your work, you spend it on food, gadgets, clothing and other basic needs. Before you reach the next payday, paubos na yung pera mo. But that's ok payday is just a few days ahead and it doesn't matter if I run out of money, I am expecting money again any time soon.

This cycle goes on and on and you make some sidelines or create other ways to earn but it seems that money was never enough. (I am tempted to explain further pero usapan... basics lang). So you can't leave the job that you have because a week without work would affect the cash flow you have to support your family and needs. As much as you wanted to accept another job, the gap would make you pay less for a couple of days, which makes you a slave to your boss. At least, you have a job to support your needs. So to illustrate.. .Cash is flowing inside your pocket. Years have gone by doing your monotonous routine.

Question... what if you get fired? Or you were forced to retire because there are new and younger people ready to take your place. What would you do?

As an OFW, Makati Executive, Top Salesman, Engineer, Attorney, Teacher, etc... What if it all ends? The sweet cash that enters your pocket every 15th and 30th suddenly comes to a halt.

There are two things you can buy with your money... An asset and a liability. To describe each... An asset brings money inside your pocket; a liability takes money out of your pocket.

Another way to see, it is that an asset if you buy one, will bring the money you spent for it back to you 2 or 3 folds. A liability, when you buy it will not give your money back at all.

Sa ilocano... idjay ti kwa... djak maawatan... (joke lang po, seryoso na kayo eh...) Sa madaling salita... kapag asset, maibabalik ang pera , pag liability, goodbye sa pera...

Ang problema kay JUAN DE LA CRUZ, habang may trabaho ipon ng ipon at bili ng bili ng liability!
I have seen OFWs get back to the country with gold chains at kung pwede lang limang shades ang isuot ng sabay-sabay gagawin nya eh... dvd, component, jackets, clothes, inuman, pulutan, party, pabango -- hindi na makalakad sa dami ng bitbit... At s'yempre mga empleyado natin dito sa bansa na lingo-lingo bago cell phone at mags ng kotse… hindi na nga magkasya ang damit sa aparador, tapos pag umaga sasabihin...wala na akong maisuot.

Guys, esep-esep... what you bought... will it bring money back to you? I know what you have in mind... you have to enjoy what you worked hard for. That's right, but think of something that will last... think of your future.

I have seen the worst of people who were abogado de kampanilya, executive secretaries of top rank business men, people who worked for big companies, earned a fortune and got a big retirement pay by the millions... Now... Wala na.

Why? Because of their cash flow... went in... went out.
I need not to mention basketball players, actors, singers, etc... Check what is their career path... next after acting, singing and playing... POLITICS. Kasi, 'yung million na kinita nila, puro liability ang binili.

Going back... all the liability they bought, ibinenta ng mura! I'm wearing a gold chain now, which I got from a seaman... he bought it for P35,000 and sold it for 8,000 to me. Hindi po asset ang alahas! Bakit? Totoo na tumataas ang value n'ya pero kapag gutom ka na, kahit palugi ibebenta mo! (wala bang aaray?) Cell phones... dvd players etc. pati bahay at kotse... that's the cash flow of most OFWs...
The question is ... "WHAT IF THE INCOME STOPS?"

Sa Pinoy, ganito: anak... mag-aral kang maigi, at pag tanda namin... ikaw na bahala sa amin ha.... Hindi po ba maling-mali. .. You have to establish something today that will take care of your future.
Teka, teka... eh ano ang dapat gawin para hindi mangyari yan?

You must create a source of income that will continually make money flow inside your pocket. Start a business! While you are working as an executive or an OFW, or a professional. .. START A BUSINESS and MASTER that business till you get out of that company. Para kapag tumigil ang income mo sa kanila... may susuporta pa din sa iyo hanggang pag-tanda mo!

Now don't tell me to invest my money on pensions and plans... NO WAY! Narinig n'yo na siguro yung... Naku ayaw ko na magbanggit... 'yung mga nagbayad at hindi nakapag-claim. Sila pa ang idinemanda at nag-piyansa!!!

HUWAG MO IASA ANG PAGTANDA MO SA IBA! GUMAWA KA NG SARILI MONG BALON NG PERA! KAHIT MALIIT PA 'YAN, SARILI MO AT HINDI KA AASA SA IBANG TAO...

Imagine yourself when you reach an older age... (aruy ko,,, baka yung iba sa inyo about that age... tabi tabi po...Ako po sa mga nagtatanong. .. I'm 37 years old. Naabutan ko pa si Michael Jackson at hinele po ako ng nanay ko sa mga kanta ng hagibis...).

You have money that the company gave you as your retirement pay... what will you do? You can consume the money till your old... eh kung hindi umabot? Masamang damo ka pala... at hindi ka kaagad kinuha ni Lord. Eh pang age 65 lang yung naipon mo na budget.

Or maybe, you can start a business and use the money for capital... Kapatid... 9 out of 10 businesses, FAILED... yung isang magsa-succeed, gagayahin pa ng kapitbahay mo instead na mag-franchise sa 'yo... think! At age 50, you are struggling trying to make a business work! What if it fails?!

Eh ano nga ba ang sagot?

The answer is, stop buying liabilities and instead buy assets now. I don't care if it is a banana-Q store, balot, ice candy or a sari-sari store, etc... start now! Because your experience here will teach you what to do in the future. It's so hard to struggle in business when you are 60 yrs old.

You have to create a source of income separated from the source of income from your work. That when the time comes that you have to stop working, you will have your own source of money! Create assets, start a business that will be there to support you and your family.

I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB! I'm telling you to start a business while you're working and stop spending your money on liabilities and start putting them on assets!

Ang pera kapag pinambili mo ng LIABILITY... hindi na babalik... ang ASSET... BABALIK.
Teka... masama ba bumili ng mga magagandang gamit? Hindi! Siguraduhin mo lang na ang pambili mo nun ay galing sa asset mo. The business has to be prioritized! Mawalan ka man ng trabaho, may negosyo kang palalaguin.

If before, nabubuhay ka naman ng iisa sapatos mo, huwag mo baguhin 'yun... dati, nagdyi-jeep ka lang... 'wag ka na munang mag-FX...

Create assets and lessen liabilities. Invest and learn now... mag-negosyo!
Eh anong negosyo? Any, as long as you think it is work and doable! I am still looking for partners for my HOME MASSAGE SERVICE! SPA MAGIC! And my business CAR MAGIC is still franchising. .. (joke lang ... baka sabihin nyo nagpro-promote lang ako eh...But I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ALL MY BUSINESSES ARE ORIGINAL AND ALL ARE GRAND ASSETS!

I started all my businesses with a very small capital. If I used that money to buy a gadget, new shoes or any liability... baka wala lahat ng negosyo ko at wala na akong makain ngayon.

Again, I hope that this BASIC CASH FLOW article helps.... I wish all of us become financially free!

Slice of Life No. 7 -- BUHAY-PINOY, NOON AT NGAYON

JUST A REPOST FROM AN OLD BLOG (2007)

________________________

I had a chance to get hold of the most treasured writings of my late uncle, Norlito Ison Cervo. We quite value his works as we were all aware of how he dedicated his time and effort in all his writings about the history of Binangonan. Moreover, it was like his utmost wish to let the future generations of Binangonan know about our beloved town’s beginnings and history.

Last night, as I was browsing through his old stuffs, I came across a copy of the “Town Festival ‘64”. Hmmm...wondering what it is? Well, “Town Festival ‘64” is actually the 1964 Binangonan town fiesta souvenir program. Yes, the stuff was published more than four decades ago! Anyway, way back then, Binangonan observes a separate town fiesta every last Sunday of February.

The publication contains "Binangonan: An Outline of Its History and Hypotheses" and various other interesting articles which were all written by known individuals in Binangonan.

As I scan the old pages, I came upon the Viewpoint section and an old adage flashed into my mind: “History repeats itself.” Is that for real? Come to think of it, the stuff I was reading was, in fact, published a couple of years before I was born. Yet, ironically, I believe it is nothing different at all from the sentiments which, I think, common Filipinos harbor even nowadays.

Well, to understand what I am talking about, following is a copy of the Viewpoint section of the 1964 Binangonan Town Fiesta Souvenir Program, as it was written by Judge Nestor C. Rivera.


VIEWPOINT

The Rich and the Poor by Judge Nestor C. Rivera

I went today to the San Lorenzo village. I noticed skyscrapers and air-conditioned houses. It is not the Philippines shown on advertisements for tourist attractions. It is a veritable haven of the fortunates far richer than the paradise that Adam and Eve supposedly once enjoyed.

Then I came to think of the Filipino masses. Not so much of those minimum-waged laborers, because laborers are perpetual indispensable elements of society. We cannot live without them. They have to toil. But I think of the barrio folks - those in provinces distant from Manila like in the Bicol region and in the Visayas. I read a recount in the papers that there are those barrio folks who have not possessed even a single centavo for years - they live on barter of vegetation crops for their meager and measly indispensables. This condition of our poor Filipinos makes the Philippines a special heaven of moneyed people - foreigners and natives alike. They can buy Filipino souls, property, and services, for almost nothing!
Avarice is a perpetual human instinct; but it is good to temper it with conscience - equity with our blood brothers begets equity from our Creator. More over, if the rich enjoyed the company and services of underfed, unhealthy and filthy laborers, how much more will they enjoy the company and services of healthy and clean toilers! What a difference would it make them your neighbors! Modern science has helped that both rich and poor can now live far hetter than Adam and Eve.
If you love yourself, your family, and relatives; if you love your countrymen - over and above all other people - then you will not want that condition of extremes, extreme rich and extreme poverty. My heart bleeds for these poor people, because like President Macapagal, I came from among such poor people. Of course, I may be rich some day and will thus belong to the favored group -- the served. But on a wider perspective, we have to look to ourselves and to our future generations. We cannot maintain feudalism, whether on land or on money, only to benefit distinct families forever! It is not impossible now that you, the heir of landlords, may have your future grandchildren begging to serve the rich in their time.
Government collections (taxes or tributes) were originally for the enjoyment and luxury of the ruler. Then collections were made to support wars of offense and defense, and for peace and order. Then government made collections for use in public works as roads, bridges, schools and hospitals. The government simply collected taxes in the past, because employment was a simple problem of the individual. The individual then could move from place to place to farm, fish, or hunt. Thus, the object of government tributes improved: From the exclusive enjoyment and luxury of the ruler - later to include the expenses for the solution of the problems of the subjects, who pay the tributes now called taxes.
The common Filipino today, walking in San Lorenzo village, in the Escolta, or in the Rizal Avenue, is a lost soul even if armed with diplomas. He is a beggar for work. Though he is endowed by our Creator with some usable assets, brain and muscles, he cannot use them fruitfully except to rob or steal. He does not want to do any of these. He would not be a killer of a President Garfield though he cannot find employment. But he goes from door to door, begging for work, and in dire need and despair, as a weekly magazine once editorialized, lie jumped with his innocent children into the Pasig River, to die!
Was he not an asset with his brain and muscles? Could not the government use him to its advantage and reap profits thereby? Will the Government simply feed his kind on increased taxes like the EEA dependents? Are they not entitled to the fruits of their own labor like the factory workers, with the Government receiving back its investments? Our private corporations, Filipinos and aliens, can invest only by millions. They cannot invest by billions because then they cannot recover back their capital invested within their longest life span. But, our Government gives away, to no return, billions of pesos taxed from the sweat and blood of our own poor people. Like an over-grown child, our Government continues to milk its mother, the poor people, in increased taxes, and it refuses to earn its own livelihood inspite of its almost unlimited power and resources! Will our future children be assets or liabilities of the Republic of the Philippines? Will they simply depend on taxes forever? Must we forever milk the people with heavier and heavier taxes until they collapse? Think this over, and seriously, my friend.***

Slice of Life No. 6 -- Patay: "Active", Buhay: "No Record" sa Comelec List of Voters Online

About a week ago, I received an e-mail with this very interesting and timely header:

Check out "ONLINE Verification of REGISTERED VOTERS"

Siyempre pa, medyo excited ako na nag-visit kaagad sa ibinigay na link ng sender... kaso lang, madidisyama lang pala ako sa bandang huli. In a way, tanggap ko pa siguro na hindi ko nakita ang pangalan ko sa kanilang database. Pero nakakagulat naman na sa buong pamilya namin, bukod tanging ang Tatay ko lang ang may record.

Anyway, since tapos ko na ngang i-search ang pangalan naming lahat, out of curiosity, naisip kong i-search na rin ang names ng dalawang uncles ko na kinuha na ni Lord. Well, honestly, hindi na ako nagulat when I found out that both of them are still "ACTIVE" voters.

Below is a screenshot of the Comelec's page:

"DISCLAIMER:

Data is based on the submissions of our field election offices as of June 17 2009. If you think your registration record should be active, and this SEARCH facility gives you a negative result, please verify with the local COMELEC office where you are registered.

Pending submission of data from certain cities/municipalities, data from the 2007 Barangay Elections are still being used for this Search facility."

'Yan po ang naka-post na DISCLAIMER ng COMELEC. As of June 17, 2009 daw? Teka, nabubura ba sa listahan ang mga botanteng namayapa na? If so, gaano naman katagal bago sila mabura sa listahan? Halos isang dekada na mula nang mag-goodbye 'yong isang uncle ko, bakit "Active" pa rin ang status n'ya?

Hay, naku! Ewan! Basta ang magandang tanong siguro ngayon ay ito: Gaano kaya ka-reliable ang list na iyon ng Comelec? Ano sa palagay mo, kabayan? Kung ako ang tatanungin mo, hindi po ako mapalagay! Hehehe

Click here if you want to check out, too, if your name is still active in the COMELEC roster.

GOOD LUCK!!! :-)

P.S.

Below is for all those who want to be registered voters for Election 2010:



Deadline for registration is October 31, 2009.

Slice of Life No. 5 -- TRUE STORY: ONLY IN THE PHILS. (BIR HORROR STORY)

UPDATE 2016:

The following article was from a forwarded e-mail message which circulated about a decade ago.

Sana po sa ilalim ng bagong pamunuan ng bansang Pilipinas, mabawasan kung hindi man lubusang mawala na ang mga ganitong hindi magandang sistema sa mga tanggapan ng pamahalaan.



FW: TRUE STORY: ONLY IN THE PHILS. (BIR HORROR STORY)

Read this...

ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES...FUNNY BUT TRUE STORY.


Dear Joey,

Kumusta sir. Naalala mo pa si Jolnir? Yung anak kong gustong pumasok sa McCann? May nakakatawang storing nangyari sa kanya. Nang nangailangan si Jol ng TIN ay ginawa siyang pingpong ball ng BIR. So isinulat niya yung BIR experience niya tapos nilagay niya sa internet. Biglang kumalat. Last time I heard ay nasa L.A.na .

Anyway after 3 days sa internet ay nabasa ni BIR Commisioner Parayno yung story. Pinadalhan kaagad si Jol ng TIN card via mail. Ang bilis. Ang maganda pa nito ay nag-email kay Jol yesterday si Bart Guingona. Gusto raw nilang gawing play. Tuwang tuwa si Jol. Sabi ko nga ay ang agang dumating ng 15 minutes of fame niya.

Anyway here's his original story:

ADVENTURES SA KAWATANAN NG RENTAS INTERNAS
ni Jol Ong

Okay. So natanggap na ako nung November sa NCCA bilang researcher. Contract employee lang. 3 months. May Yearbook project kasi sila at kailangan ng extrang tao. Okay lang ang bayad, kaso may 10% withholding tax, at siyempre, dapat may Tax Identification Number ako.

So tinanong ko yung boss ko-
"Sir, di po ba yung employer ang maglalakad ng TIN ng employee?"

Sagot ni bosing-
"Di ka kasi regular employee kaya dapat ikaw ang maglakad ng TIN mo."

Assurance nung assistant ni bosing-
"Okay lang yan, one-time hassle lang yan."

Ala ako problema. Sige, ako maglalakad ng TIN ko. Tutal, ano ba ang worst case scenario? Mahabang pila? Red Tape? Naknamsiomai, sanay naman ako sa UP e- kuhaan ng classcards, pila sa registration, pila sa graduation, etc. Ako rin naman ang naglalakad ng registration ng beetle ko, at sa pagrerenew ko ng lisensya, so okay lang. Sabi ni
bosing, dun daw ako mag-apply ng TIN sa BIR Main, sa may QC, para mas konti ang pila. May BIR din naman sa labas ng Intramuros, walking distance para sa mga sanay maglakad, pero mas konti raw ang tao sa Main.

So, sige, nagpaalam ako, isang araw mag-aabsent ako para lakarin yun. Dun ako sa Main, dahil malapit lang sa amin, tapos planoko, dadaanan ko yung ilang research materials sa UP. Solve!

Pagdating ko sa BIR Main, nagulat nga ako dahil wala ngang katao-tao. Ni wala akong nakitang pila, maliban lang dun sa pila sa harap, dahil tsinecheck nung sekyu yung bag ng mga tao. Nung pagpasok ko, wala pala silang TIN forms. Wow. Naubusan ng TIN Forms ang BIR Main. Hanep.

Tinanong ako nung lalaki sa desk kung para saan yung TIN application ko, sabi ko, para sa work. Tinanong kung saan ako nagtatrabaho, sabi ko sa Intramuros.

"Dun ka mag-apply sa Intramuros." sabi nung lalaki.

"Di po ba puwede talaga rito?"

"Hinde, kasi sa Intramuros ka e, sila ang may hawak sa 'yo."

Okay lang, although medyo naburat ako sa efficiency nila. Ibig kong sabihin, wow, Main BIR sila tapos una, naubusan sila ng TIN Forms, pangalawa, ewan, ang laki-laki ng saklaw nilang lugar, ang laki-laki ng mga building nila, tapos hindi nila ako ma-accommodate.

Taragis, e malamang sa kanila rin naman mauuwi yung records ko kung sa BIR Davao BIR Batanes ako mag-apply, dahil tutal, Main sila e, di ba?

So ala na akong magawa, ala rin silang TIN Forms, so useless din kung magprotesta pa ako dun.

So pumunta na lang akong peyups ( U.P.) for official business, for the first time. Hehehe!

Pagpasok ko sa work, sinubukan kong lakarin yung TIN application ko sa BIR sa labas ng Intramuros, yung malapit sa port area. Pag-akyat ko sa taas,hinanapan ako ng certificate of employment, at barangay clearance. At dahil walang nagsabi sa akin na kailangan ko nun, lalo na yung lalaki sa BIR Main, wala akong bitbit na requirements.

Pagbalik ko sa opisina, inexplain ko sa bosing namin yung problema. Nakatingin sa akin yung bosing ko na parang nawe-weirdohan din at di maintindihan yung paghihigpit ng BIR. Lintek, sabi nga nung isang workmate ko, the fact na nag-apply na ako for TIN, dinedeclare ko na sa gobyerno na puwede na nilang kupitan, err, kaltasan ang maliit kong
suweldo. Ako na nga ang magbibigay ng pera sa kanila, ako pa ang hinihigpitan.

Tanginang gobyerno yan, kahit kailan talaga pahirap sa mga tao. Anyway, pag-aaralan pa raw nila kung mabibigyan nila ako ng certificate of employment. Yung barangay clearance, ako na ang maglalakad. Plano kong bumalik ulit sa BIR Main. Hindi ko na lang sasabihin na sa Maynila ako nagtatrabaho.

Yung ninang ko na may business, binigyan ako ng TIN Forms. Form 1901, take note. Para sa mga regular employees. May pipirmahan sa likod ang employer ko. After nito, dumiretso ako sa barangay hall namin para sa clearance. Hiningan ako ng CV para sa file. Medyo naiirita na ako sa puntong ito. Isipin mo naman kung gaano ka-hassle ang buong prosesong ito, para saan? Para gawin ko ang aking role bilang mabuting mamamayan
sa pagbabayad ng tamang buwis?

Anyway, tinanong ako nung babae sa barangay hall kung may TIN daw ako. Nafafalo ako sa noo ko. Whoooooo!!! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!!!!

Okay! So may clearance na ako! Humingi na ako ng certificate of employment sa bosing ko, at pinapapirmahan ko na siya sa likod ng Form 1901 ko. Kaso sabi niya, hindi raw puwede kasi wala ako sa roster of employees ng NCCA. Project employee lang ako e. So tinanong ko kung puwede ibalik yung mga kaltas sa akin, tutal ala naman akong TIN e, at
ayaw akong bigyan ng BIR, kaya pu@#$%*na sila, di ko bibigay pera ko sa gobyerno! Ang problema, hindi raw puwede yun. Tuloy-tuloy ang kaltas sa suweldo ko. Kapag hindi raw kasi kinaltasan, sila raw ang malilintikan kapag nag-check ng expenses ang NCCA, makikitang hindi binawasan ng suweldo ko. So tinawag ngayon yung isang accountant ng NCCA para tulungan kami sa aming munting problema. Hindi rin
maintindihan nung accountant kung bakit hinihigpitan ako ng BIR.

Putsa, ako na nga ng magbibigay ng pera sa gobyerno, may gana pa silang magpakipot. Sabi nung accountant, yung kinaltas sa akin, mapupunta pa rin sa gobyerno, may TIN man ako o wala, at hindi sa bulsa ng kung sinoman sa NCCA.

Well, dadaan muna sa gobyerno, sa BIR, bago mauwi sa bulsa ng isang congressman, pero technically, alang problema dahil pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, sa simbahan pa rin ni s~tan~s ang tuloy. Ang difference bale, kapag may TIN ako, dinedeclare ko lang na sa akin galing yung kakaning-ibon na baryang portion ng pang-tip ni Mr.Congressman sa p*kpok niya sa Pegasus. Otherwise, mula kay Mr. Anonymous yung pang-tip niya.

Advise sa akin, sabihin ko na lang na freelance writer ako. Tutal, may kaltas din naman daw kapag nag-freelance ka sa mga diyaryo. Tapos i-assert ko raw na ako na ang magbibigay ng pera sa kanilang mga letse sila kaya dapat bigyan pa nila ako ng libreng chocolait at biskwet out of gratitude mga hayop silang mga impakto sila.

Okay. So bumalik ulit ako sa BIR Main. As usual, ang pila lang ay yung sa harap, kung saan nagtse-check yung sekyu ng bomba sa mga bag ng mga tao. Anyway, babae na yung nasa desk ngayon. Pinakita ko na yung baranggay clearance ko, at yung accomplished Form 1901 ko. Nung tinanong sa akin kung saan ako nagwowork, inexplain ko na freelance writer ako kaya wala akong regular employer, kaya walang nakapirma sa
likod. Okay?

Okay. Hinde. sabi nung babae, since hindi ako regular employee, ibang form dapat ang finill-up-an ko. At bigla siyang naglabas ng Form 1902 at binigay sa akin.Whew, kinabahan ako dun a. Yung Form 1902, sabi niya, ay para sa mga "mixed-income individuals," para sa mga taong hindi regular ang kita-professionals, businessmen, at sabi niya, freelance writers.

Okay! Fill-up dito, fill-up dun, okay lang!!! Magkakaroon na ako sa wakas!

Inaabot ko na sa babae yung Form 1902! Eto na...

"Ummm, okay na? Ngayon, punta kayo sa West Ave.....Branch namin."

Nanlaki ang mata ko. Wow, nasira agad ang aking moment of triumph.

"Err! , hindi po ba puwede rito sa Main?"

"Hinde, kasi sa Project 6 ka nakatira. West Ave. Branch namin ang may hawak sa inyo."

Naramdaman ko, parang umiikot-ikot ang paligid ko. Parang gumagaan ang ulo ko, nanglalambot at naghihina ang tuhod ko. Bigla kong naramdaman ang isang matinding pangangailangan na i-headbutt ang kausap kong babae sa desk. Sa halip na isang headbutt, nagtanong na lang ako.

"Puwede po bang ibang tao na lang ang maglakad nito para sa akin?"

"Oo, gawa ka ng authorization letter..."

Ah! Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib! Fafalakad ko na lang ito sa nanay ko. hehehe. Paglabas ko, marami pa ring tsinecheckan ng bomba sa bag sa harap. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit. Ako rin gusto ko rin silang bombahin. Hindi ko pa rin mawari, nung araw na yun, kung ano pa talaga ang purpose ng BIR Main.

Nakangsiomai, dun sa maliliit na branches nila, siksikan ang mga tao, milya-milya ang pila. Sa Main, ang lawak-lawak, pero di sila nag-a-accomodate ng applications!

Sa kasamaang palad, hindi ako nakapagsulat ng authorization letter, at masyadong busy ang nanay ko para ilakad ang TIN ko. Anyway, sabi niya sa akin, may kaklase yung tita ko sa BIR West Ave. Kapag nagipit ako, hanapin ko na lang yun. Okey. Sige. Isa pa, may Form 1902 na ako, baranggay certificate, at yung excuse ng aking pagiging freelancer. Pila lang siguro ang problema, pero okay na. Putsa, dapat okay na.

At nakarating din ako, isang araw, sa BIR West Ave. Sa second floor sila nag-oopisina sa isang building. Masikip yung elevator dahil sa dami ng tao. Narating ko na rin yung desk para sa TIN. Nung chineck nung babae dun yung papeles ko, hinanap nila yung pirma ng employer.

"Ay. Wala po. Freelance Writer po ako e."

Napatingin sa akin yung babae, tinitigan ako sa mata na wari'y tinitimbang ang mga salitang aking nasambit...

"Ano yung Freelance Writer?"

Nafafalo ako ulit sa noo.

"Ma'am, freelancer po ako. Wala po akong regular na sahod. Binabayaran ako per article na sinusulat ko. Hindi po ako regular employee kaya wala akong certificate of employment."

Nung makitang Form 1902 ang dala ko, sinabihan pa akong maling form ang bitbit ko, kaya inexplain ko pa na nanggaling na ako sa BIR Main, na Form 1901 ang dala ko dati pero sabi dun, mali raw ang 1901 para sa akin kaya binigyan ako ng 1902 dahil freelance writer ako, at inirefer ako sa branch nila.

Nakatitig sa akin yung babae, ninamnam ang bawat salitang sinambit ko...

"Ano yung Freelance Writer?"

Okay! Kulang ka ba sa iodized salt?!!

Ipinaliwanag ko ulit kung ano ang freelance writer, at nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin na tila nambubullsh~t lang ako.

"Punta ka na lang sa Officer of the Day."

"Umm. Saan po yun?"

"Sa Seventh Floor."

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10... ayan... kumakalma na ko... NAKANANGTOKWA!!!! ANG DAMING TAONG NAKAPILA SA ELEVATOR!!!
$#@*^%$%#!!!!!!!!

Alang choice, tumakbo ako paakyat sa hagdanan mula 2nd patungong 7th floor. Hingal na hingal ako nang lapitan ko ang Ofiicer of the Day.

"Ma'am, pinaakyat po ako mula sa second floor..."

At ipinaliwanag ko yung nangyari, mula yung pagpunta ko sa BIR Main, hanggang sa pagpunta ko sa ibaba kanina.

"Umm... at anong gusto mong gawin ko?"

Gumuho muli ang mundo ko, pero buti na lang may upuan sa likod ko. Ipinaliwanag ko ulit.

"Oo nga. Sa second floor ang application ng TIN. Bakit ka pinaakyat sa akin?"

Halos nagmamaka-awa na ako.

"Ma'am, ala po ba talaga kayong magagawa?"

At inilahad ko ulit yung masasayang adventures ko sa BIR Main, sa BIRPort Area, sa BIR Main, at sa BIR nila. Awa ng diyos, may kinuhang chart yung ale, hinanap yung kategorya ko. Nung makuha yung code, sinulat niya sa isang espasyo sa 1902 ko, sabay tatak.

"Ayan. Okay na yan."

Namagandai ako. Sincere!!! Halos mapaihi na ako sa tuwa. Matatapos na!!! Kaso, putsa, ang daming taong naghihintay sa elevator. Walang choice, takbo ulit ako sa hagdanan pababa.Pagdating dun, lalaki na yung nakaupo sa desk. Pinakita ko ulit yung mga papeles ko.

"Saan ang Certificate of Employment mo?"

Nammannnnn!!!! Ano ba'to? Twilight Zone? Napasok ba ako sa isang loop?

"Bosing, hindi po ako regular employee e. Freelance writer po ako."

"Ano yun?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

At ipinaliwanag ko ulit kung ano ang freelance writer, at ikinuwento ko yung episode kanina, at yung episode sa BIR Main, etc.

"Ito kasing Form na ito, itong 1902, para sa mga may negosyo ito e."

"E yan po ang binigay ng BIR Main sa akin, dahil hindi regular ang sahod ko!"

"May mayor's permit ka ba?"

Pikon na pikon na ako nun kaya hindi ako natawa, pero, talaga , grabe, comedy ito, men. Wow.

"Hindi ko po kailangan ng mayor's permit! Writer lang po ako!"

Ineksamin ulit nung lalaki yung papeles ko.

"Ummm, propesyunal ka ba?"

"Opo."

"Anong propesyon mo?"

"Writer po."

"May lisesnsya ka ba?"

Sa isip ko- "HU-WAAAAAAATTTTTT!!!??"

Kung kumain ako ng bulalo kanina, malamang na-stroke na ako ngayon.

"HINDI NYO PO KAILANGAN NG LISENSYA PARAMAGING WRITER!!!"

Sabay follow-up ko ng:

"ANO BA KAYO? AKO NA MAGBABAYAD NG TAX SA INYO, PINAPAHIRAPAN NYO PA AKO!!!"

Deadma si lalaki. Nakatingin pa rin sa papeles ko, iniisip kung ano gagawin. Kung pinapunta pa niya ako ulit sa Officer of the Day, i-he-headbutt ko na'to talaga. Buti na lang-

"O sige, irereceive ko ang forms mo, pero ang alam ko dapat may kasamang papeles pa ito e. Pumila ka na lang dun..."

*haaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy.......*

Kaso, sobrang haba ng pila, at sa takbo ng mga pangayayari ngayon, ayoko nang maghintay ng isa't kalahating oras para lang mag-replay ng kuwentong kung ano ang freelance writer, at kung bakit hindi ako regular employee.

Lumabas ako, pumunta ako sa corridor. Pikon na pikon. Tinawagan ko nanay ko, tinanong ko yung pangalan ng kaibigan dati ng tita ko sa highschool na nagtatrabaho ngayon dun.

Okay, nakuha ko na yung pangalan. Balik ako dun, tinanong ko yung sekyu kung saan ang opisina nung babae.

"Sa seventh floor po."

Hindeeeeee!!!!! Pero sige, para lang magkaroon ng bunga ang paghihirap ko ngayong araw na ito- may exodus ng tao sa harap ng elevator, kaya ayun, inipon ko ang natitira kong lakas at hininga, at aking tinakbo muli ang second to seventh floor sa hagdanan.

Pagdating sa taas, halos bumagsak sa lupa ang baga ko. Nagtanong-tanong ako ulit kung saan ang opisina nung bes-pren ng tita ko, hanggang sa mapunta na ako sa gitna ng opisina nila. Sa wakas-

"Ay! Diyan yung opisina nun, pasok ka diyan."

Yehey!!!

"Ha? Ay! On-leave siya ngayon. Babalik siya sa January 2."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hindi pa rin nauubos ang mga tao sa elevator, hindi ko maalala kung paano ko tinakbo pababa ang first floor. Pikon na pikon ako, grabe. Pag-uwi, nakaubos yata ako ng isang pitsel ng gulaman. Hinintay kong humupa ang tila-nuclear holocaust ng galit sa loob ng dibdib ko.

Punyetang gobyerno ito!!! Letse!!! Hindi mahuli-huli yung mga tax evaders, hindi mabigyan-bigyan ng TIN yung mga nagmamagandang loob na magbayad ng buwis!!!

Tangina, no wonder may lumolobo tayong mga deficit!!!

Syet!!! Ano nangyari sa iodized salt campaign ni Ramos!!!

Nung gabi, tinawagan ko si TJ, yung kasama ko sa trabaho, at kinuwento ko lahat. Lagi ko kasing kinukuwento ang bawat installment ng aking BIR adventures, at tulad ng isang epiko, grabe ang climax nung hapon na yun.

Syet. Hayop sa climax. Tinatawanan ko na lang, pero nung hapon na yun kaya ko sigurong mangagat ng leeg. Tawa rin nang tawa si TJ, at ngayon, kuwento niya, tawa rin nang tawa yung mga pinagkuwentuhan niya. Pati yung mga tao sa tambayan namin, nung kinuwento ko, di rin makahinga sa katatawa.

Langya, baka maging urban legend pa ang buhay ko, in which case, sana puwede kong i-video lahat, at lalagyan ko ng sumpa- ala "The Ring", tapos fafadalhan ko ng kopya yung mga tao sa BIR.

Naisip-isip ko na lang ngayon, paano nga kung kailangan mo ng lisensya para magsulat. Isang physical manifestation ng concept ng poetic license? haha!

Kung sa driver's license, may mga restrictions tulad ng "Vehicle up to 4500 KGS GVW" o kaya "Automatic clutch above 4500 KGS GVW", etc. paano kaya yung sa "Poetic License" o "Writing License?"

I.Restrictions

1. Haiku and short essays only
2. Essays up to 500 words and Freeverse up to 5 stanzas
3. Essays above 500 words and Freeverse above 5 stanzas
4. Critical Essays, Short Fiction, Poetry ...etc.

Pero nag-digress na naman ako. Isang hapon, pagkatapos nung BIR episode, dumaan ako sa tambayan namin sa UP.

Nung makita ako ng mga kasama ko - Jol! Pumayat ka a! Grabe!" hehehe. Naalala ko yung jogging-jogging ko sa building, at yung stress, at napangiti ako. Isang mapait at matamis na ngiti.

At kinuwento ko kung bakit.

PS: hanggang ngayon, wala pa akong TIN. Kuwento ni TJ, si Santi Bose raw, namatay nang walang TIN. Nakakatakot.

Slice of Life No. 4 -- Ang Kabataan sa Mata ng Isang Kabataan

Sa mga minamahal kong kababayan, ako’y naririto sa inyong harapan upang itanong sa inyo: Ang kabataan nga ba ang pag-asa ng bayan?

Madalas nating marinig ang mga katagang “Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan”. Subalit ang mga kataga bang ito’y sadya nga bang makakatohanan? Sa kasalukuyan, ang mga kabataan ay madalas mong makikita sa bawat sulok ng lansangan. Madalas na kapag gabi, walang ginawa kundi magharutan, magbangayan. Waring di-alintana ang problema sa bahay at di-iniisip ang bukas na darating…

Ito ba ang sinasabing pag-asa ng bayan? Ni walang pakialam sa lipunang kanilang ginagalawan. Alam ni Inay at Itay, nasa eskwelahan nagsusulat at nag-aaral nang mabuti. Subalit nasaan ka? Madalas ay nasa labas ng paaralan at kung anu-ano ang pinag-aaralan! Madalas pang ipinangungutang ni Ama’t Ina ng baon upang sa darating na panahon ay may maipagmalaki at gumanda ang pamumuhay. Nguni't ano ang ginagawa mo? Naglalakwatsa kang kasama ng barkada. Nakikisunod sa uso na akala mo’y magandang tingnan pero sa paningin ng iba’y kasuka-suka. Ang barkada na hindi rin iniisip ang bukas na darating…

Hay, naku! Kabataan ngayon, gumising ka!!! May panahon pa! Patunayan mong hindi pa huli ang lahat, mga minamahal kong kabataan…may panahon pa para ipakita mo ang iyong kapakinabangan. Hindi lamang sa iyong pamilya kundi maging sa iyong lipunang ginagalawan!!!

Elizabeth Ojeda
Binangonan, Rizal
March 20, 2007

Slice of Life No. 3 -- The GRADUATES

This particular incident happened only this morning -- just as I was barely awake to actually begin my day. Honestly speaking, it gave me quite a headache!

Girl 1: Magkano po ang pa-print ng resume?
Me: P 3.00 per sheet, plain black text, no picture.
Girl 1: Sige, pa-print po kami ng dalawa.
Me: Okay. Nasaan ang diskette n’yo?
Girl 1: Diskette po? Ay, wala po kaming diskette. ‘Di po ba pi-fill-up-an lang naman po iyong resume?
Me: Ah, baka ‘yong nabibiling Bio-data form ang sinasabi mo. Wala kaming gano'n. Mag-type na lang kayo ng resume n’yo, tapos iyon ang ipi-print.
Girl 1: Ay, gano’n po ba? Sige po.
Me: Ano? Magta-type na lang ba muna kayo?
Girl 1: Opo.

So from that answer, I went to turn on one computer but as I was waiting for it to complete its start-up…

Girl 1: Ate, dalawa po kami, ha?
Me: Ah, magtitig-isa ba kayo ng computer?
Girl 1: Opo.
Me: Okay.

And so I turned on another unit. Then, I opened the Microsoft Word program for them.

Me: Sige, p’wede na kayong mag-type.
Girl 1: Ate, ano po bang inilalagay sa resume? Hindi po kasi namin alam, eh.
Me: Gano’n ba? Teka…

Maybe in such cases, one’s instinct would be to go for the Resume Wizard. However, I somehow suspected that it will be difficult for the two girls to deal with tables, so I opened the simplest resume I have on file instead. I then deleted all the entries per line of information given to make the task much simpler and easier for them. After saving it as a new file, I accessed it through the other PC and made a copy so that the two girls can work on their respective resumes at the same time.

Anyway, one of the girls immediately seated herself in front of one computer while the other girl remained standing behind.

Me: O, p’wede ka na ring mag-type dito.
Girl 2: Mamaya na lang po. ‘Di po kasi ako marunong.
Me: Teka, ano’ng year n’yo na ba?
Girl 2: Graduate na po kami ng 4th year. Mag-a-apply po kami sa Jollibee.
Me: ‘Di ba me computer subject naman kayo sa school?
Girl 2: Wala po. Hindi po kami tinuruan ng computer sa school.

With that statement, I decided to shut down the other computer which I had prepared for the girl to use. (Well, with the sky-rocketing high monthly electricity bills, I have every reason to do all possible measures to save on electricity.)

Girl 1: Ate, ano po ‘yong objective? Ano po ang ilalagay ko do’n?

As my brother was just around, he tried to help explaining to the girls what an objective is using Tagalog. He even gave them an example. So I got surprised when another question was asked instantly.

Girl 1: Eh, Ate, pa’no ko sasabihin ‘yon sa English?

Well, as I have mentioned right from the start, this incident, indeed, gave me quite a headache. If you happened to be in my shoes, how do you think would you feel or react?

In this age of computer and information technology, isn’t it such a disappointment to see high school graduates who still don’t know how to use a computer? (Yes, let’s simply focus on just one thing at a time, okay?)

Well, actually, it is not my first time to encounter such type of teen-agers in the last couple of months. I have already met several, though in separate instances, with such common dilemma, and they were all products of the national high school that is situated within the barangay. According to them, a computer subject was not even included in any of their curricula. I may not be quite sure as to the reliability of that said statement, however, as I have personally witnessed, it is a fact that they really do not know how to use a computer.

As a home-based online job contractor and a computer rental shop operator, I have been contemplating on the possibility of conducting free computer tutorial lessons to interested individuals in the community. I think of it as one effective way of helping out. Unfortunately, much as I am very willing to spare my time, effort and equipments, the prospect of electricity consumption expenses hinders me. (True, I might not be able to shoulder the consequences considering the present dilemma of almost everyone with regards to increasing monthly Meralco billings.) As it is often said, we can only give to charity what we can afford.